Shermans Travel » Blog » SkyMall Tuesday
Here at SkyMall Tuesday headquarters, we’re no strangers to products that help us heed the call of nature no matter where we find ourselves. Whether you’re stuck on a long road trip, out for a hike, or spending the day on the water, bathrooms aren’t always conveniently located. In the past, this forced people to wear adult diapers, relieve themselves in public, or soil their clothing. Those are hardly appropriate solutions to this all too common problem. If we can go anywhere, why can’t toilets do the same? In these modern times, everything is made to be portable and used on the go. Well, we need something that is used when we need to go! Not surprisingly, SkyMall saw this problem and addressed it head on. Rather than frantically searching for a restroom or seeking out some large bushes, take (waste) matters into your own hands – or bags – with the Biffy Bag.
Humans have odd relationships with animal feet. We’ve decided that rabbits’ feet are good luck. Pigs’ feet are good eats. Monkeys’ paws grant wishes and also teach us lessons. Of course, you might not believe that any of these things are true (pigs’ feet are an acquired taste). Of course, at SkyMall Tuesday headquarters, we believe that no stone should go unturned (or foot unexamined) in the course of exploring all things SkyMall. So, as you can imagine, we were particularly intrigued when we discovered this week’s featured product. We can’t say that we were totally surprised, as people have been using animal feet (and other parts, for that matter) for their own benefits for thousands of years, but when it comes to this animal, we assumed that there was only one use: Thanksgiving dinner. Leave it to SkyMall, though, to prove us wrong with the Turkey Foot Back Scratcher.
I wanted to hate this one. I mean, it’s not all that different than the ol’ SkyMall Tuesday favorite, Carlashes. I never should have doubted SkyMall, though. I’ve been hard on them lately. My expectations are high. But how can I hate a product that helps us get more “smiles per hour”? That’s genius.
The holidays, of course, are all about smiles. So, look, if you want to decorate your car to look like a reindeer, go for it. Who am I to tell you otherwise? Just don’t hang any mistletoe in the backseat. That’s just creepy.
Check out more SkyMall Tuesday posts.
We love dogs here at SkyMall Tuesday HQ. We have two of our own. They’re both rescues. So we appreciate random dog cuteness. We’re very pro-dog. However, we’re pretty anti-dog clothing. Sure, some small dogs that can’t keep themselves warm might require a coat on cold winter days. But sweaters for indoor use? Costumes? Booties? That’s all so unnecessary and vain. Don’t get me wrong, though. I understand that the salt and sand that is scattered on roads and sidewalks to prevent people from slipping on ice can really hurt a dog’s paws. It’s a nuisance that dog owners dread every winter. It’s a real issue that needs to be avoided. But that doesn’t mean that you need to force your dogs to wear lame accessories. Walk around the salt. Coat your dogs paws in Vaseline before you head outside. Walk them through the snow to clean off any irritants. Do anything else but navigate over to SkyMall and purchase a set of Pugz Shoes.
A couple of days late but no worse for wear, SkyMall Tuesday (yes, I know it’s Thursday) is back with another installment. My mind, as it often does, wandered toward travel again this week. There is no lack of choice when it comes to travel pillows, and SkyMall offers a bevy of options. These days, however, no one wants a regular old travel pillow. It’s almost 2013. It’s an era of smart gadgets that handle multiple tasks. So why would you limit yourself to a pillow that does nothing but cushion your head? That’s so Pillow 1.0! If you want to be hip, comfortable, and able to carry on all of your luggage, you need to consolidate your life and optimize your travel gear. That’s why this week’s featured product is perfect for the modern traveler. It combines a pillow and a hooded sweatshirt into a whole new product that’s greater than the sum of its parts. Behold, the Grand Trunk Blackout Pillow.
Poor Segway. It was billed as the future of transportation. Sadly, it never caught on (and isn’t street legal in many major cities). The owner of the company died when he fell off of a cliff…while riding a Segway (there’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?). That failure has left us all to walk places. Oh, the tedium! Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. Over and over and over again! I’m exhausted just thinking about my next trip to the Calzone Emporium. There must be a better way for me to get around when I leave SkyMall Tuesday headquarters. Thankfully, SkyMall realized that Segways weren’t the future. All of those wheels are just overkill. And those handlebars? What, you can’t balance yourself? If you want to get yourself from Point A to Point B, all you need is one wheel. Now, before you think that I’m advocating for the use of unicycles, rest assured that I firmly believe that those devices are nothing but pure nonsense. Just disastrous contraptions better left to circus freaks. What I meant to say is that all you need is one wheel and a small motor. You need the Solowheel.
Holiday travel should be about escaping your workaday routine, taking time to find the proper perspective on life, and savoring the truly important things. Of course, we all know that getting away during this time of year is never that simple. All too often, holiday travel is remembered for long lines, increased stress, and unpleasant time spent with your extended family. It’s that last issue that we’re addressing in this week’s SkyMall Tuesday. Thanksgiving forces you to eat, drink, and force a smile with dozens of people who you would never choose to befriend in any other situation. This, of course, leads to awkwardness, hostility, and, at times, full on fighting. Usually, all it takes to defuse these situations is a simple “behave yourselves in front of grandma!” For the times when that doesn’t suffice, however, SkyMall has what you need to calm everyone down and reach an amicable resolution of any conflict. This Thanksgiving, don’t going into the familial battlefield without a Plush Turkey Referee Hat. Read more
One of the hardest aspects of traveling is simply figuring out what to pack. Baggage fees have made checking bags an expensive pain, so it’s critical to pack efficiently. You want to have a diversity of outfits, especially if your scheduled activities vary from casual to formal. But you also don’t want to bring anything extraneous along on the trip. Finding multipurpose items that can go from day to night, boardroom to bar, and beach to restaurant is the key to ensuring that you don’t have to overpack to have everything that you need. These utility pieces help you limit the number of items that you need to pack without sacrificing style. We’d love to bring all of SkyMall Tuesday headquarters with us when we travel, but that’s simply not feasible. Thankfully, SkyMall understands that today’s traveler needs to be smarter, more creative, and bolder to avoid problems and stay fashion forward. That’s why they sell the One of a Kind Shirt.
It’s time for some SkyMall Tuesday real talk. I’m not sugarcoating anything this week. People, we need to demand better. We’re not stupid, right? RIGHT?! We know when someone is blowing smoke up our behinds. We have to! For centuries, hucksters, scammers, and snake oil salesmen have cheated us, lied to us, and sold us snake oil. The problem isn’t that these crooks exist; the issue is that, as P.T. Barnum so eloquently put it, “there’s a sucker born every minute.” So long as there are people willing to hand over money for whatever crap is shoveled in their direction, there will be no-goodniks willing to do the shoveling (and take that money). We have to stop this vicious cycle. It pains me to say this, but SkyMall is part of the problem, at least when it comes to this week’s featured product. They’re enabling a crap shoveler. They’re selling the Hiccup Stick.
Hurricane Sandy has been ravaging the East Coast for a couple of days now, and many homes have lost power. Hopefully, if you’re in the path of the storm, you’ve already stocked up on supplies, food, and water. Here at SkyMall Tuesday HQ, we’re getting by with macaroni and cheese, whiskey, and whatever animals we snare in the traps set out throughout the apartment building. Of course, we stocked up on canned goods and nonperishable items to get us through the week. However, we now realize that we made a grave mistake. Rather than relying on our own forethought and planning, we should have given ourselves over to the wisdom of SkyMall. Our favorite catalog is there for us in good times and bad, during celebrations and disasters. So, whether you’re still planning for Sandy or want to be prepared for the next emergency, be sure you stock up on the 72-Hour Emergency Meal Kit.
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