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All The Single Ladies (and Fellas) Can Still Enjoy Valentine’s Day

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I’m single this Valentine’s Day. This doesn’t bother me much, as I’ve only had a significant other coincide with the Happy Heart Day twice (in 7th grade, and last year). To me, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to wear a bunch of pink and gorge myself on candy, so it’s a holiday I can get behind regardless of relationship status. Plus, this year I’ve got a date to get tacos with my mom, so things are going pretty well, I would say.

Other singles don’t share my enthusiasm – or, rather, lack thereof. To many, Valentine’s Day is an annual reminder of his or her failure to land a partner, doomed to a lifetime of unanswered OkCupid messages and plucking errant cat hairs off ratty pajama pants. But, much like the 14 pounds of chocolate I will consume Thursday, there is no need to be bitter. There are plenty of events intended for the singles out there that are guaranteed to make your Valentine’s Day memorable.

New York Singles: If you’ve ever stolen glances at someone on the subway, only to have your hopes dashed as he or she vanished once stepping off the train, you’re in luck. The New York Transit Museum is hosting their annual Missed Connections party in one of the city’s most romantic spots, Grand Central Terminal’s Vanderbilt Hall. The event will feature all the Valentine’s staples: music, poetry, wine, and chocolate, with the added bonus of possibly running into the commuter in the red scarf who got away. Tickets are $10 in advance, $15 at the door.

Chicago Singles: Workaholics often have difficulty squeezing a date into a packed schedule. The “Be My Valentine” speed-dating event, held at Chicago’s Whiskey Bar, lets daters use their time efficiently. Each date lasts between six and seven minutes, and suitors can find out if his or her affections were returned at the event’s conclusion. Tickets are $49, which includes appetizers. The price also includes a complementary makeover for ladies – perfect if you’ve spent the week sleeping at the office.

San Fran Singles: San Francisco is a romantic place for couples, so it’s understandable for singles to grow frustrated with the excess of ooey-gooey-lovey-dovey nonsense going around. Take out some of that pent up aggression at San Fran’s annual Pillow Fight, being held in Justin Herman Plaza. The event is BYOP (bring your own pillow, naturally), but it’s wise to bring a trash bag as well: once the feathers settle, they’ll be plenty to clean up. Best of all, the puffy beat-down is free of charge.

Philly Singles: Maybe you’re not quite as over your former lover as you would like to admit. What better way to get rid of those feelings, once and for all, than by venting your ex’s most egregious flaws in front of a group of strangers? Philadelphia’s World Live Café is hosting “The Ex-Files Story Slam,” where storytellers can take to the stage to rehash some of their most heartbreaking and hilarious tales. The event proved so popular in the past that this year they’ll have two showings, at 7 and 9:30 p.m.

Austin Singles: So you can’t escape your bitterness, and you just want to spend your day wallowing? Fair enough. Consider, then, wallowing in the most over-the-top way possible: by belting “Love Stinks” power ballads with fellow lonely-hearted souls. The Alamo Draft House in Austin is hosting a “Love Bites Sing-a-Long” for those who think heartbreak is best expressed through the works of Bon Jovi and Poison. Belt your favorite 80’s tune, or tease your hair and break out your finest zebra-print spandex for the Power Ballads Costume Contest. But, if you’re the type who still believes love can conquer all, the venue is also hosting a Moulin Rouge Quote and Sing-a-Long at 7 p.m.

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