Summer is all about escaping the office and enjoying the sun, sand, and surf. A trip to the beach is one of life’s simple pleasures. Whether you’re enjoying some cold drinks with friends, swimming with your kids, or rubbing sunscreen on someone special, you expect the beach to be relaxing. Sadly, not everyone got the memo about proper beach behavior. From coast to coast and all around the world, miscreants and yahoos are mucking up our tanning time. It’s difficult to narrow down the list of the worst offenders, but I managed to pick out the beachgoers who annoy me more than the sand in my bathing suit does. Here is my list of the Top 10 Worst People at the Beach.
10. People on Their Cell Phones Trying to Find Their Friends
Stop yelling. Immediately. Instead of scanning the horizon for someone flailing their arms around, look right in front of you. That might keep you from stepping on everyone and kicking sand on people.
9. People with Too Much Stuff
Does your family of four really need to occupy three acres of prime beach space? Consider leaving some of the furniture, extra coolers, and full-sized tent at home.
I don’t care that you’re outside. I’m outside, too, and all I want to smell is that fresh sea air.
7. Overly Tan People
If you look more like a baseball mitt than a person, it might be a good day for you to catch a movie rather than spend extra time in the sun.
6. Thong Wearers
Just seeing them makes me feel like I have my own wedgie to pick.
They’re never the people who should be naked and they’re always a little too close to my sandwich.
4. Ballplayers and Frisbee Throwers
Either improve your accuracy, move far away from everyone else, or stick your arm in a garbage disposal. I don’t really care what you do so long, as you stop hitting me with your footballs.
3. Kids Digging Holes
Sandcastles are beautiful. Giant holes in the beach, however, are useless (and kind of dangerous). The worst part of the hole diggers, though? How they toss the sand violently into the air and, ultimately, onto everyone around them.
2. Guy with the Loud Boombox
Turn your music down. Better yet, use headphones. Better still, just leave the beach.
1. People Who Sit Too Close to You
There’s a whole big beach out there, people. Why are you surveying the area, ignoring empty plots of sand, and dropping all of your stuff down so close to me that your umbrella is planted in my ear? Go away!
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