The hardest part of traveling is never knowing when you’ll have your next drink.* At home, you have your liquor cabinet, the wine cellar, and the bottle of whiskey that you keep in the nightstand. Life is simple, if slightly blurry. At SkyMall Tuesday headquarters, we make our dogs wear those tiny brandy barrels that Swiss St. Bernards tote around. On the road, however, life can get dry. Airlines charge for drinks on domestic flights, minibar mini bottles are expensive, and hotel bars can be sad places. What’s a thirsty traveler to do? You can’t be expected to attend business meeting, go sightseeing, and visit your in-laws without your medicine? Nor can you ask your colleagues, friends, or family to stop at every bar your pass (or hold your martini glass while you visit the gift shop). Thankfully, SkyMall knows that discretion is the better part of valor (and cocktails are the best part of the day). The next time you’re going on a trip, be sure to keep your Personalized Cell Fone Flask in your pocket.
There was a time when flasks were considered sophisticated. Somewhere along the way, however, we attached a stigma to making our alcohol portable. We carry mints and gum with us everywhere, so why not bring along something worth covering up on our breath? It’s perfectly logical. Since, however, society might not be ready for us all to tote around a few nips of our favorite spirits, it stands to reason that we use flasks that look like mobile phones.
Think that a reliance on alcohol is a sign of addiction? Believe that it’s inappropriate to drink in public? Well, while you write your congressman about reinstating Prohibition, we’ll be reading the product description:
You can’t dial out but you can enjoy what’s inside our whimsical personalized Cell Fone Flask. Small enough to fit in any pocket and easily mistaken for the real thing!
It’s as easily mistaken for the real thing as the technology of 2012 is mistaken for that of 1999.
Travel can be taxing. Flight delays, meetings, loneliness, exhaustion, and long lines can try a traveler’s patience. Who could blame you for trying to lighten things up a bit? Plenty of people actually, which is why you need to keep this a secret. If you ever hear this fone phone ring, however, it’s safe to say that you’ve had enough.
* There are many aspects of travel that are far more difficult than this, but hyperbole is intoxicating.
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