It’s time for some SkyMall Tuesday real talk. I’m not sugarcoating anything this week. People, we need to demand better. We’re not stupid, right? RIGHT?! We know when someone is blowing smoke up our behinds. We have to! For centuries, hucksters, scammers, and snake oil salesmen have cheated us, lied to us, and sold us snake oil. The problem isn’t that these crooks exist; the issue is that, as P.T. Barnum so eloquently put it, “there’s a sucker born every minute.” So long as there are people willing to hand over money for whatever crap is shoveled in their direction, there will be no-goodniks willing to do the shoveling (and take that money). We have to stop this vicious cycle. It pains me to say this, but SkyMall is part of the problem, at least when it comes to this week’s featured product. They’re enabling a crap shoveler. They’re selling the Hiccup Stick.
Don’t get me wrong; I know that the hiccups are annoying. I’ve tried all of the old wives’ tales to cure them – holding my breath, drinking from the back of the glass, having someone scare me – to no avail. But let’s be realistic here. We don’t need to buy something to cure the hiccups.
Let’s pause for a moment and cede the floor to the Hiccup Stick. It’s only fair. Now, the product description:
The Hicural Hiccup Stick is the world’s first tool that instantly stops hiccups. Simply place horizontally in the mouth, gently bite down and drink a cup of water. It’s safe and simple to use for adults and children.
Convenient carrying case.
It’s a stick. That you place in your mouth while you drink water. It’s not made of a space-age polymer. It’s not treated with a synthetic coating. It’s a stick. You can buy popsicle sticks (or, even better, Popsicles, which you can enjoy before retaining the sticks for future use). I suppose that you could even use a straw placed horizontally in your moth. Or a chopstick. Perhaps a twig from the backyard.These are all things that are less expensive than a 3-pack of Hiccup Sticks that sell for $20.
Furthermore, do you have any sandwich bags in your cupboard? Guess what! You have a convenient carrying case, as well!
Seriously, people. Stop letting these shysters take advantage of you. You’re better than that. You’re smarter than that. At least I hope so.
All of that said, the product video is pretty gosh darn hysterical.
Check out more SkyMall Tuesday posts.